Are you feeling angry, in need of stress management, like somebody owes you a happier life? If you’ve been stuck in a grudge against somebody, are you tired of living life that way? Here are some words of encouragement that can help you let go of a grudge keeping you stuck. By following a simple process, you can renew your life once again. First it all starts by identifying…
What are you truly feeling about the person with whom you feel the need to carry a grudge against? Once you identify that specifics that you are truly feeling, write it down on paper.
For example, suppose you and your sister are involved in a grudge match with each other. Your mother is ninety-years-old. Tammy (your fifty-year-old sister) keeps lying to her and getting her money.
In this scenario, you would write on paper your feelings about the state of affairs. Remember, you can only change how you react to the situation rather than change the behavior of others in the setting. You might write something like, “I feel a grudge against Tammy because she keeps taking advantage of Mom’s generous nature. I also feel angry that Tammy dismisses my objections about her manipulating and using Mom for her selfish purposes.”
Now that you’ve expressed on paper specifically what feelings you feel, are you willing to think differently to feel differently? If so, you are improving yourself. How do you get self esteem? By thinking differently about you and your abilities. That can quickly lead to you feeling in control again. Would you like to feel calm and in control?
Seeing the situation differently can result in you feeling better. To feel better, change your current thoughts to different thoughts.
Again, as in the first step, write down on paper the new thoughts. You might add in humor as appropriate, or any other positive mindset. Adding in forgiveness for the other person can also be very beneficial. This is for your benefit, not for the other person(s).
If you need some ideas of different thoughts to think in this scenario, please use any of the following:
Possible New Thoughts:
“Holding a grudge only hurts me. What can I think right now to see the situation differently and feel peaceful?”
“What might I think or do that helps Mom handle her finances better? Hey, I might simply ask Mom to let me handle her finances. I wonder if that’s an option?”
“Who might help me see things from a different viewpoint? After all, I accept that I might know other people who are more experienced at this than me. What trusted expert could I consult to help resolve this situation?”
Relax your mind. See yourself as if you’ve already peacefully resolved the situation in a way that feels peaceful. Notice the details of doing that and incorporate them into a simple plan you’ll really apply to the situation. By focusing on what you can do to improve the setting, you’ve let go of the grudge.